I Love Dave

Kid is very funny, g-rated.

MAN: “Hello”

WOMAN: “Honey , it’s me. Are you at the club?”

MAN: “Yes”

WOMAN: “I am at the mall now and found this beautiful leather coat. It’s only $1,000, Is it OK if I buy it?”

MAN: “Sure, go ahead if you like it that much.”

WOMAN: “I also stopped by the Mercedes dealership and saw the new 2009
models. I saw one I really liked.”

MAN: “How much?”

WOMAN: “$390,000.
MAN: “OK, but for that price I want it with all the options.”

WOMAN: “Great! Oh, and one more thing…the house I wanted last year is back on the market. They’re asking $2,950,000 for it.

MAN: “Well , then go ahead and give them an offer of $2,800,000, They will probably take it. If not , we can go the extra $150 , 000 if it’s really a pretty good price.”

WOMAN: “OK. I’ll see you later! I love you so much!”

MAN: “Bye! I love you too.”

The man hangs up. The other men in the locker room are staring at him in astonishment, mouths agape.

He turns and asks: “Anyone know who this phone belongs to?”

TEACHER: John, why are you doing your math multiplication on the floor?
JOHN: You told me to do it without using tables.
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TEACHER: Glenn, how do you spell ‘crocodile?’
GLENN: K-R-O-K-O-D-I-A-L’
TEACHER: No, that’s wrong
GLENN: Maybe it is wrong, but you asked me how I spell it.
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TEACHER: Donald, what is the chemical formula for water?
DONALD: H I J K L M N O.
TEACHER: What are you talking about?
DONALD: Yesterday you said it’s H to O.
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TEACHER: Winnie, name one important thing we have today that we didn’t have ten years ago.
WINNIE: Me!
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TEACHER: Glen, why do you always get so dirty?
GLEN: Well, I’m a lot closer to the ground than you are.
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TEACHER: Millie, give me a sentence starting with ‘I.’
MILLIE: I is..
TEACHER: No, Millie….. Always say, ‘I am.’
MILLIE: All right… ‘I am the ninth letter of the alphabet.’
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TEACHER: George Washington not only chopped down his father’s cherry tree, but also admitted it. Now, Louie, do you know why his father didn’t punish him?
LOUIS: Because George still had the axe in his hand.
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TEACHER: Now, Simon, tell me frankly, do you say prayers before eating?
SIMON: No sir, I don’t have to, my Mom is a good cook.
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TEACHER: Clyde , your composition on ‘My Dog’ is exactly the same as your brother’s. Did you copy his?
CLYDE : No, sir. It’s the same dog.
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TEACHER: Harold, what do you call a person who keeps on talking when people are no longer interested?
HAROLD: A teacher
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Do you love pregnancy or pregnant women? Then click thru here: I Love Pregnancy or here: I Love Pregnant Women. Or, heh, if you happen to love pregnant MEN, like in the pic, visit here: I Love Pregnant Men (-;